Saturday, December 24, 2011

NOW THERE IS SADNESS

This is a post that I have tried several times to compose over a period of nearly a month.  There is so very much to say and my emotions run the gamut.  How can I express everything in a message short enough that you can read in one sitting?

 

When last I posted here, I had just returned home with Trinity, a wonderful new guide and companion.  I fully expected to spend the next eight or more years with this beautiful, loving, enthusiastic, and energetic girl. 

 

It is a good thing that we cannot foresee the future as it often takes some unexpected turns.  This was the case for Trinity.  There were two things that were reoccurring over the first several months that seemed more to be pondered than things to be concerned about. There were the partially loose stools that several food switches (all quality foods) did not seem to help.  Then there was the intermittent barfing.  Sometimes, she barfed so very hard that it seemed as is she would choke.  After a night of 1-2 episodes, she seemed fine in the morning and for several weeks or months.  Her appetite was not faltering.  At first, we felt that it was just something that dogs do from time to time. 

 

When we were together a year, we attended the American Council of the Blind in Sparks, NV.  We traveled each way by train, two very long but interesting trips.  There were no problems.  Trinity tolerated them well.

 

I had taken her to the vet as a precautionary measure the day before we left because she had had one of her vomiting episodes the previous day (July 4).  I thought it might be related to the fire works although there were no other outward signs of stress.  At the convention, she was vomiting several nights in the hotel room or in one case, at a meeting.  Still, I attributed it to stress of the convention. 

 

A few weeks after our return home, I decided to make another food switch and this was a particularly bad one.  She had diarrhea that I first attributed to the new food.  Once we had completed the gradual change, I added pumpkin in an effort to firm her stools with no luck.  Off we went to the vet with a stool sample.  It was negative for bacterial infection.

 

A week later, she had a terrible night of vomiting and diarrhea several times and this necessitated another vet visit.  First there was a blood sample and urine specimen.  Then another food switch prompted by the vet.  Within a few days, there was more vomiting and the vet did x-rays and a barium swallow.  He then recommended we go to the vet school some 150 miles away.  We spent parts of 3 days there and they did many tests—more x-rays, blood work, abdominal ultrasound, and then endoscopy and multiple biopsies of her stomach and intestines. 

 

They found that she has a very small liver that they did not consider to be problematic as her liver function tests were normal.  She did have diffuse inflammation of her stomach and intestines.  Another trial of different antibiotics and probiotics did not resolve her symptoms.  Then the vet suggested that I do another food switch that would contain no grain or corn and would contain a protein source that she had not been exposed to previously.  I went to the pet food store and found a food as different as I could that met the requirements and began feeding it.  Within a few days her stools were firm.  Whereas she had been having loose stools but only one every other day, she began having 2-3 a day with good consistency. 

 

The vet thought I should be able to continue to work her, but it was not to be so.  She had been refusing to work after breakfast preferring to go back to the house and to her bed.  At times she would want to quit working during an afternoon walk.  We went out of town again and she barfed in the hotel room after ingesting some inappropriate leavings she had found under the restaurant table. 

 

Finally, I had no choice but to contact the school and let them know that I would need to retire her.  This was a very sad day.  It was late October when I began the steps to apply for a new dog.  I also needed to make a decision for Trinity’s future. 

 

Knowing that she is an active dog and only three and a half, I realized we could not give her the time and exercise she would need.  I made another painful choice to return her to Seeing Eye for placement with a family. 

 

It is a hard thing to relinquish any dog to the care of another person, but when that dog has been an extension of your left arm and has served as your eyes—has saved your life and has been a constant friend, it is very hard indeed.  She was with me during all that I did including church, symphonies, operas, visits to friends, classes, meetings, daily long walks and so much more…Now, add the concerns and special care that her digestive problems have required.  It is very difficult not to know the details about decisions being made for her or what her day is like.  I do know that she is currently in the kennels at the school and they have made another positive food switch.  She has a kennel mate and is happy.  I know they get the best possible care and I know that they have play time, but a kennel is not a home.  Now, I hope that someone on the long list of potential adoptive families will be willing to take her with her medical problems that will have to be managed with appropriate food for the rest of her life.  

 

With this sadness comes the promise of a new partnership.  Just days before she went back to the kennel, I received word that I have a match for the class beginning January 2 and will fly across the country on New Years Day to begin training with a new dog. 

 

Now, there is sadness, but joy comes in the morning.